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I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
It’s not that I’m old, your music really does suck.
Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and a crappy party host.
My doctor said he`s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
I always advise people never to give advice.
I wish I could write `` I Miss You `` on a rock and throw it at your face, so you can know how much it HURTS to miss you
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."
Drake isn`t even a rapper anymore. He`s an emotion, like "how are you doing today?" "idk im feeling kinda drake though"
My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account.
People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.
It´s not that I hate you, it´s just.. well I´ll put it this way.. if you were on fire & I had water, I´d drink it.
If you didn`t want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.