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A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
Why I don’t like people: 1% logical reasons. 99% just because.
If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she`s practising for her next selfie
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
When I was kid, I... No wait, I still do that.
That awkward moment for a guy when he`s at a urinal stall and another guy takes the stall right next to him when there`s plenty of other perfectly good stalls farther away..
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim.
Stalin should have known communism doesn`t work. There were red flags everywhere.
How long do I have to stand in front of the microwave for to become a member of X-Men?
We are living in a generation where Vampires are sparkly,Werevolves are gay and Witches wear leather pants.
When life gives you lemons....throw them back and yell, "I wanted cookies!"
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
You know it`s been a good night when you wake up and see bite marks on the walls...