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I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
"Just be yourself" doesn`t work if you suck.
My cat probably thinks I`m cleaning my ice cream...
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
I`m starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
Good news: I can still do a full split! Bad news: It wasn`t on purpose!
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
I`m giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
There are two types of people...don`t worry you are not one of them.
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?
If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.