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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I wanna see Mythbusters do the bible.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix… Don’t drink and derive!
How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
Why is it called a "personal trainer", instead of an "exercist"?
They say you need about 2000 calories a day. Ok, time to do math. 65 calories in one fluid ounce of Jack Daniel`s means i need 30 shots tonight.
Tequila... It`s not just for breakfast anymore...
I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
I`m confused by this "It`s 5 o`clock somewhere" statement. Bars open at 11. Idiots.
If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit end call, we would all have no friends.
If you don`t believe that women will actually fight over a pair of shoes, you`ve never watched The Wizard of Oz!
You are like that one crazy wheel on a grocery cart.