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Didja ever get to know someone so well, that you wish you didn`t know them at all????
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
Growing up and becoming an adult was the worst decision I’ve ever made.
I`d be amazing at life if I was only asked to sit and play on the computer all day.
Sorry I yelled "April Fool`s" while you were proposing to your girlfriend.
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Offering a homeless dude $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
Tomorrow is Valentines day, a holiday that comes along once a year to remind you that if you don`t have a special someone...I guess your alone.
If I ever win the lottery and someone asks me for money I`m going to give them a dollar and say "Here. Go play the Lottery. That`s what I did."
I spend hours on Facebook and then think, “Well, that was pointless”
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
It is amazing how quickly kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, dishwasher, or vacuum cleaner.
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking “I’m gonna ki..-ahhh. Damn, he’s under a blanket.”
"That girl is totally checking you out" said vodka. -Bfanch