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To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
I never got the expression "complete idiot". Is there an Incomplete version?
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
I don`t believe in karma, but I do believe in punching people in the face.
This is the third time someone in Liam Neeson`s family has been abducted, they really need to stop leaving the house.
I can come up with plenty of ways to do nothing.
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
Most days the best thing about my job is that my chair spins
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job there.
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
If I`m ever in the hospital on Life Support, don`t just pull the plug. Pull it and plug it back in. Basically, see if you can reboot me.
My misery likes tequila, not company.
Trying to master the art of eating a powdered donut without looking like I just left Charlie Sheen`s house.