Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year.
Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
that moment when autocorrect decides to ruin you and makes a text incredibly awkward.
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
Exercise? More like extra fries.
I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
I removed my windshield wipers and now I don`t get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
If you ever hear me say that I missed you it`s only because I have bad aim.
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald`s scare me.
If there wasnβt such thing as a last minute Iβd never get anything done.
The number of red lights you will hit while driving are directly proportional to how bad you have to pee.
Iβm not a βstalkerβ. I want to make sure youβre okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
Sweat pants & Uggs in public says "and I didn`t brush my teeth, either."
I`ve been sober 136 days. Not in a row, but still...