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If gas prices keep going up I`m cutting off the bottom of my car and I`m "Flintstoning" That mf!
They say you have real problems if you hear disembodied voices; fortunately all my imaginary friends have bodies.
It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
"Memory foam pillow fights". That`s one fight you`ll never forget.
I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.
TEIAM - problem solved
My car broke down outside a massage parlor on today ... And again tomorrow.
I could never cheat in a relationship, That requires 2 women to find me attractive.
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
So, All my exes live in Texas; Exactly, how does one go about scheduling a tornado ?
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.