Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think sex is probably the best stress reliever, but I haven’t beaten anyone with a baseball bat before, so I can’t be 100% sure.
I just realized that the only time I`m good at dancing is when I`m about to pee my pants
I sometimes worries about my short attention span, ...but not for very L... hey! ... look at that squirrel!
Some of these Giraffe profile pictures are a vast improvement.
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
I took a pic of my self a few days ago. Now I`m playing with it. Yeah...I`m playing with my selfie.
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone’s ok with that.
I`m out of bacon. This is my suicide note.
Flu (noun) - The only time when having used tissues laying next to your bed is socially acceptable.
Yes, autocorrect, that`s right. I hate that stupid ditch
All I ask for is a chance to prove money can`t make me happy.
Everything I need to know in life I learned in kindergarten... if you poop your pants they let you go home.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can`t flick your friends out the car window
If I were a pilot I would scream “WE’RE GOING DOWN” every time I landed the plane.
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.