Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment.
May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I`m considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
Adding “and sh!t” to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I`ll have to let her in.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
I don`t make a very good first impression, but if you hang around, my forty-third one is pretty cool.
Maybe don`t show me a picture if you don`t want me to rate your baby.