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It`s real cute how pedestrians confuse "right of way" with immortality.
Congratulations! You’ve just read this sentence.
This complimentary lemonade at the doctor`s office tastes funny.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
I`m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours.
My relationship is mostly me apologizing for saying something super bada$$ and hilarious
Win every argument simply by repeating your opponent`s last sentence in a whiny voice.
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
When I count calories it involves a bunch of multiplication.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
That awkward moment when kids see a toy they want on TV but the can`t get it because their parents must be 18 or older.
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch yesterday.