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I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can`t talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao
Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup, mustard, BBQ & soy sauce.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
Making mirrors look good, since 1972
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
Women want a lot of things from one man. Conversely, men want one thing from a lot of women.
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
It`s hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed and it was....GREAT!
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I`m the proud owner of aisle 7.
I don`t want to brag, but I`m single-handedly responsible for 86% of the rules in the Employee Handbook at work.
Who says I can`t relate to today`s youth? I overheard a teenager saying he loved "riding on E" and I was like "I totally get it, gas is so damn expensive".
I was in my kitchen cleaning when suddenly I realized OMG! ... I`m late for Facebook!!
No one will ever look at you the way I do ... But thats probably because no one will ever do it from the tree outside your window