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Sometimes it`s nice to know karma is still a feisty little b!tch.
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
Apparently Home Depot`s slogan of "You can do it; We can help" doesn`t apply to masturbation.
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
As funny as it might be, It`s never polite to yell "Tuba Lesson!" Before farting.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.
I’ve got bad news: Today is not Friday, Tomorrow is not Friday, Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.
FACT: How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
If owls are so smart, how come they don`t say "Whom"?
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you. Knees to Chest, bitch, KNEES TO CHEST!!
Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about