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Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
I’ve been searching for my stolen bed. And I won’t rest until I find it.
i hope your life is as long and useful as this roll of toilet paper!!!
If you win a years supply of calendars, you would only win 1 calendar.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
My life is based on a true story
I used to think drinking was bad until i stopped thinking
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it´s for them?