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That awkward moment when your screen freezes on a really embarrassing website
Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
My coworker`s inspire me to drink on the job.
Aren`t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know...The birth of Santa
The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man`s ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
Is it considered rude to ask your boss if it hurt when the house fell on her in The Wizard of Oz?
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
Everything is legal when the cops aren`t around.
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
I learned two important lessons today. I can`t remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!