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Imagine being the sort of person who knows what every button on a TV remote does.
Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
Nothing is more comical than seeing someone tiptoe with cheeks clenched hastily en route to a washroom to do #2.
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
Drake isn`t even a rapper anymore. He`s an emotion, like "how are you doing today?" "idk im feeling kinda drake though"
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor.
They say laughter is the best medicine... found out that`s not true for treating diarrhea.
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.
I can’t decide if the drinks are too weak or if my tolerance is too strong.
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.