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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
Calling someone with glasses β€œfour eyes” isn’t an insult. Know what else has four eyes? Two sharks. Now you feel stupid.
He was like, `We`re all slowly dying` So I was like, `WRONG` and I threw him in front of a moving bus.
Dont let facebook fool you we aint friends
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
I heard she was born naked!! That slut!
You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
Instead of walking faster when someone holds a door open for me, I slow down to test their door holding resolve.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests.
I`ll be busy tonight taking my girlfriend out to dinner and then having sex all night. Is what I`d be saying if I had money ... or a girlfriend
Technically, every picture is a before picture.