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i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
Sometimes it`s nice to know karma is still a feisty little b!tch.
Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrhea!
Don’t judge me…If you’re reading this then you aren’t working either.
I give myself the best presents.
For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!
I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account and I got over it.
Its all sh!ts and giggles until someone giggles and sh!ts
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
iPhone 6: For people who don`t mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
Today, my wife asked "would you still love me if I was ugly and fat." "Yes, honey I do." was not the right answer.
I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me ... from me.
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...