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How to make friends: 1. Tell people you have weed.
Long story short, I love summaries.
My Therapist told me not to drink while I`m on my Meds but little does she know...I`ve been off my Meds for almost a week now!
Lots of us suffer in silence. You should try it.
Now it`s too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.
Don’t ask me to kill a spider for you & then criticize my methods. Yes, I had to use a samurai sword, & no, I’m not sorry about your table.
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
I answered the door in my underwear. That WAS the tip, pizza guy!
I`m not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Don`t apologize because you haven`t posted in a while. No one cared.
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
Being ‘clean and sober’ means I’ve showered and I’m headed to the liquor store.
Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from high school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
“I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.” -Me, after eating one healthy meal.