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Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
I have no time for games in my relationships. Unless by games you`re referring to naked twister. I`ve always got time for that sh!t.
Why do people with really bad breath always want to tell you secrets?
My innocent look never works in the nude.
I would like to congratulate my ex`s new boyfriend on giving up blow jobs.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "lottery winner".
I like to test the waters by pushing people in.
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
If I pretend to be dead will you stop talking?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
Every novel is a mystery, if you never finish it.
If you want to pick up girls ....Keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
A nice kid in the park informed me smoking was bad for you. So I popped his balloon with my cigarette and told him so was talking to strangers.