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I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
I don`t just burn bridges, I drain the lake, fill it with concrete, and build a shopping mall on that bitch!
Bless me Father for I hit send.
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
If you don`t have anything nice to say, put it all on social networks
Iām not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
I`ve found the most effective way to get an attractive guy to fall for me is by simply using my charm... and then a stun gun.
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn`t even apply for the job.
Kinda funny how the Mayans said we were all gonna die in 2012, but they all disappeared way before us.
In order to avoid hating myself in the morning, I sleep till noon.
A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.