Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
I read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they would’ve mentioned that you’re supposed to eat them.....
I`m running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left.
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they`d put cocaine back in their recipe.
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
Facebook taught me to mind everyone else`s business.
How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
At work, sometimes I secretly brew decaf coffee in the normal pot so that everyone else works at my pace.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
I haven`t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn`t want to interrupt her.
People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.
Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.