Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
We all need to take great interest in our future because we will spend the rest of our life there.
Alcohol doesn´t solve any problems ... but then again, neither does milk.
My wife is so annoying. "Do you think I`m sexy? Am I hot? How gorgeous am I? Do I have a nice ass?" I just want her to answer me.
I asked my girlfriend if she was ok with me buying her a ring. She said "nothing would make me happier!" So I got her nothing.
Just pour the coffee and back away slowly.
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
Sorry, I`m in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way.
What if God is a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I`ll never hear the end of it.
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
When you buy Halloween candy to hand out as an adult, it`s like you are paying for all the free candy you got when you were a kid.
lifes a laugh, start living it!
The relationship was going so well until I left my phone unlocked.
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.