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I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer.
The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million.
I get a little nervous eating cucumber in a single woman`s home.
slugs are snails that are going through a divorce
Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.
What`s the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old.
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
Some people you know was dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window.
I have tonight off so if anyone’s free let’s go somewhere and look at our phones together.
ATM`s need to have breathalyzers.