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Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while waiting.
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek.
She might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty`s only a light switch away.
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.
Please, if I ever offend you, it’s because I meant to.
WTF, I feel like I pay these bills every month.
I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
I knew we were gonna be friends when you ran into that wall.
Don`t mix Viagra with Iron Supplements. It will cause you to spin around and point north.
If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.