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It`s what`s on the inside that counts... *Except chocolate covered raisins.
Mary, mary quit contrary, watched their garden thrive. The cops found seed of a very odd weed; Now they`s doing three to five.
Me: You`ve dimmed the lights already, aren`t we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
Why is it called a "personal trainer", instead of an "exercist"?
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate.
heyy lol
Learn to fight like you`re the third monkey trying to get on the Ark!
If Facebook isn’t a drug then someone please explain to me why I sneak into the bathroom at work to use it.
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me.