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I don`t think we do get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do.
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I am married to her doesn`t mean I have to like her, right?
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off
If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
If I had a nickel for everytime I said, "If I had a nickel", I`d be rich.
Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
People say nails on a chalkboard is the worst sound ever... I think it`s the alarm clock in the morning.