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Life is like chocolate...sometimes you gotta deal with nuts.
I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.
All the coffee in Colombia couldn`t make me a morning person.
If a cannibal is late to dinner do they give him the cold shoulder?
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: “Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?”
My boss told me that there is no such thing as problems, only opportunities. I said, “That’s great. Well I have a serious drinking opportunity.”
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
9/10 students agree that someone got lost on the field trip
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Some people`s lives are like open books... Mine is like a trashcan without a lid.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
Sometimes in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
You´d be amazed how often I´m wrong when people say guess what