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Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
Checked a lot off my thought-about-doing-today list.
Don´t believe all the rumours you hear about me, the truth is much worse.
If you were born in September, it`s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a BANG
If I`m in your house and you have bookshelves... Be prepared to see me turning statues and bending down books while looking for your lair.
So how old does a highway have to be before you tell him he`s adopted?
Tequila... It`s not just for breakfast anymore...
The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!
If heat makes things expand, then I don`t have a weight problem ... I am just Hot!
Life is to short ... to waste time matching socks.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn`t let you skip.