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According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl`s whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.
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Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
Boss: "Thanks for the coffee. You know what`d go well with this?" Me: "The antidote?" Boss: "No, a donu...Wait, what?" Me: "Nothing"
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
I don`t know if I`ve got some free time, or if I just forgot what the hell I`m supposed to be doing...
If my memory gets any worse I`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.
What`s the point of a highschool reunion? I`ve got Facebook. I already know you got fat.
have you ever looked at someone and thought, "yeah you definitely have someone locked away in your basement."