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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
The most annoying are those people in great shape at the gym…. I’m like, “What are you doing here? You’re done.”
“I’ll be speaking with my lawyer” is the adult version of saying “I`m telling mom”
Meal prepping is basically eating a week`s worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened.
I just started dating a homeless girl and it`s great! When I take her home, I can drop her off anywhere I want.
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!
I didn`t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"
Things that keep me awake # 408...How do Amish girls know if it’s a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?
Bike helmets only protect you from looking cool.
I like to keep bartenders on their toes by making up drinks on the spot. "Yeah, I`ll take a Dirty Hammock."
I might get a job cleaning mirrors,its a job I can see myself doing.
Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?