Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We live in an era of smart phones and stupid people.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
They should start selling Photoshop CD`s at cosmetic shops.
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
It`s so cute how you can throw balls right at kids faces in the Chuck E Cheese ball pit and they think you`re just playing.
I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes, “Man, you’re such a Cheetah!” and they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever.
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
Want someone to stop texting you? Sleep with them.
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.
Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters.
The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.
I once met a guy who was addicted to huffing brake fluid. He said he could stop any time.