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I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.
"How about if I put a balloon over it? Would you touch it then?" -guy who invented condoms
I’m exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.
Never take advice from me, you`ll only end up drunk......
Never believe a person who claims is telling the truth while holding a pack of beers in both their hands
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
I`m 84% less productive in a swivel chair.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
Long story short, I love summaries
My ex says that he will dance on my grave. I`ve now arranged to be buried at sea
You`re pretty cocky for someone with such a small ... vocabulary.
I surveyed 100 women on what shampoo they prefer while showering 95% said How the hell did you get in here!!!