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One of the most important things in life is perserverance. Hang on...perseveren...no, perserveer...pesever… oh, never mind.....
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did New Years Eve and at the beginning add the word "stop."
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
How did people crash their vehicles before cellphones?
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
Whoever said "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you" has obviously never been hit with a dictionary.
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
They`re called `selfies` because the only one who`s interested in them is yourself.
You could pleasure me just by walking away.
Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I`m not doing this sh!t."
I like to skip when I`m carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.