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If your Facebook post requires me to hit “continue…” get a diary.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
"This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall." - Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
I`m running out of people I can tolerate!
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
You have a point. It`s just not very sharp
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
My wife is complaining that I never buy her jewelry. In my defense, I didn`t even know she sold jewelry.
Thought for the day : Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
It`s really crazy that you don`t hear a round of applause every time you order a salad.
My goal this weekend is to move just enough each day so that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead
The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....