Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ha! Who`s laughing now, f*ckers that took your Christmas lights down last year!
A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
Really discouraging that there`s still bald people in sci fi movies.
“Should I add more liquor?” is the most ridiculous question I’ve ever been asked.
There’s no worse feeling than realizing your wife has fallen asleep & you’ve spent the last 20 minutes watching Real Housewives by yourself.
Good for you, people that do things.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
Just because nobody complains doesn`t mean all parachutes are perfect.
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.
I`m having an out of money experience.
I always hit the "no receipt" button at the ATM because I don`t need that negativity in my life.
What kind of downward spiral would cause a person to "like" cream cheese on Facebook?