Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When your girlfriend or wife says "lol have fun", do not have fun. Abort mission. I repeat. Abort mission.
Look, all I`m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer?……………………. (you smart people grinned didn’t you.)
Girls must buy $500 purses just to impress other girls. No guy has ever said "Bro, she was ugly...but that purse...
I saw the most beautiful painting at the store the other day … but then I realized it was a mirror.
is admitting to pushing Humpty Dumpty, he had it coming!!
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
life is short play naked
How big does a cupcake have to be before it’s just a cake?
Word of the day is bishop: My aunt fell down the stairs and I had to pick the bishop.
Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I`m a valued customer at several grocery stores.