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Everything you paid $50,000 to learn in college is now on the Internet for free.
Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn`t park anywhere near the place
Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
I have enough leftover Halloween candy to get me to leftover Valentine`s Day candy time.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
More people should be at a loss for words.
Dreams are like pictures. I don`t care about yours unless I`m in them.
Thank God I still have a few days left to achieve my goal of “going to the gym in 2014.”
pharmacy was out of my BP meds...so i bought a baseball bat instead..that works much faster
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride
Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.