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As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.
Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
People that walk behind cars get exhausted
We all need to take great interest in our future because we will spend the rest of our life there.
Lord, grant me the courage to be the person I am under my breath.
If I was a funeral director, I would tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.Then the zombie apocalypse would be hilarious.
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
I just realised that sex is like air..its not important unless you are not getting any.
I can make your gf scream louder than you can. - Spider
Chinese scientists have discovered the rare rock n roll panda it will only eat A wop bop a loo lop a wop Bamboo
I wish tanning beds could pop you out like a toaster when you`re finished.
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
I have a tattoo of a gigantic bruise on my left ankle in case anyone ever asks me to go hiking. Or help them move.