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If our son ever decides he wants to play sports, I`ll sign up to be his coach. It`s important that he knows that I`ll swear at other kids too.
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
I want to know what horrific ideas were rejected before they decided "Vagisil" was the best possible brand name?
When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans." All I hear is "there`s a bear out there that knows how to use matches."
A naughty thought is a terrible thing to waste
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
take it easy and if it is easy take it home
if drinking destroys your memory .... what does drinking do ?
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on
I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don`t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.