Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just got a message that said "Hey, I tried to call you"...that`s your problem right there....you should have never tried that.
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
have you ever been like "what`s the day today? ... no i mean the like the number".
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
I am the undefeated champion of thisβsmooshing-down-the-garbage-so-I-donβt-have-to-take-it-out-for-another-dayβ game.
Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever`s bugging you.
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
I don`t know what`s longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
Filling out a job application. Under "Military Experience" I put that I once went commando for 4 days in a row.