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How did human beings express empathy before the phrase "that sucks" was coined?
I`m not Unemployed, I`m just taking my next job`s vacation in advance...
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
The police never think its as funny as I do.
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
Wearing my pajamas to Walmart. I don`t want to attract any attention.
The well behaved rarely make history.
The only reason I keep people`s phone numbers in my phone is to avoid their calls..
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they`re going to be talking.
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.