Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
When I bang my toe against something, it’s like I pressed a button that plays every curse word I know.
I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.
I didn`t text you. Vodka texted you.
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
Bad decisions and good stories or good decisions and no stories?
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
I look so young for my rage.
i make the other half of the Oreo watch.
Stop Instagramming words. I`m not following you for your thoughts. Take off your f*cking shirt.
You`re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.
I drank so much vodka last night I woke up with a Russian accent.
The real plot hole in Cinderella was that if everything disappeared at midnight why did the shoe stay?
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-