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I shouldn`t have to work. People should just pay me for being awesome.
"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
That awkward moment when you go for a run and your boobs start to bounce up and down.......and you`re a guy.
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
Think about what last call would look like if Walmart had a bar
My kids are giving all the people on this airplane a hard lesson in birth control right now.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
The only solution to a problem is to find the source and Kill it.
ooooh boy, Mother`s Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!