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Jesus is coming.... look busy
A "long story" is just a short story that no one wants to tell.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
In a perfect world Taco Bell would deliver...
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice
Iām not lazy, Iām on energy saving mode.
Just burned 3 calories typing this with my thumb muscles. #fitness
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.
I wondered how smokers could afford them, until I realized they don`t have to save for retirement..
I never want to go to sleep less than I do at bed time.
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.
Stop undressing me with your eyes!...Use your teeth!