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Starting an international incident is number one on my bucket list.
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...
MISSED CONNECTION: I gave you the Heimlich maneuver on Maine St. You insisted you weren’t choking and put up a good fight.
Only 3 things can make me run. When someone yells, "Fire", "Free beer" or "The free beer is on fire”
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
Got a little too much sun today. I knew I should have closed the blinds.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, I´m becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
Give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate.
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
LOSE WEIGHT FAST! Mix equal parts warm water, apple cider vinegar, & lemon juice toss that disgusting sh!t into a sink & get on a treadmill.