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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I like them big and fake. ~Me talking about Christmas trees
I am not looking for a one night stand, 2 hours will be plenty enough.
Facebook is like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there`s anything good in it
I don`t know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have.
I’m not saying don’t trust the internet but there’s an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I’ve won & the number of ipads I own.
I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how`s your day going?
I don`t know if I`ve got some free time, or if I just forgot what the hell I`m supposed to be doing...
If you need me I`ll always be stuck behind the person who doesn`t know how to use the CVS self-checkout aisle.
I`ve been working on losing weight, I was doing Jenny Craig for awhile........till her husband found out (<>..<>)
I`d imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.
Posting a status update before responding to someone`s text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are.
I like people the most when I`m by myself.
thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She`s 97 today and we don`t know where the hell she is.