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“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.
2 words, 1 finger.
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
Gimmie a P. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an O. Gimmie a C. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an A. Gimmie an S. Gimmie a....oh, nevermind. I`ll finish this later.
There`s a sense of great satisfaction when I`m the tie breaker between `Funny` and `Not Funny` status updates.
Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
Everyone`s self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse.
I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese
Golf is such a strange game. You shout four, shoot six, and write down five.
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
Next time you take your dog for a walk, dress like a cop & pretend to be searching the neighborhood for drugs.
Ok ... I just had a talk with myself, and it did not go well. Now I`m grounded.