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How come when a girl has sex with everyone she`s a slut but when a guy has sex with everyone he`s my boyfriend
Exercise? More like extra fries.
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
I`m a responsible person. People are always saying "I know you`re responsible for this."
Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
If someone tells you “it’s better than sex” they’re not doing the sex right.
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there`s something cool to see.
I wonder how many people read my statuses and say `I hope he`s getting professional help`?
You`re about as deep as a kiddies splash-pool..
I wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.