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I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
my 2012 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I`m slowly getting over it.
I changed siri to a male voice and now my car keeps taking me to strip clubs and auto parts stores
Unless your kid`s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.
When I die, before my will is read, I want my entire Google search history revealed and whoever is left in the room gets it all.
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.