Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?
Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
Found out today your supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at waffle house....just trying to help.
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
She heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100 problems.
When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his happy place and throws it at the female octopus so she can inseminate herself. Then the male grows a new happy place. If that isn`t the most epic way to tell someone to go $*&# themselves, I don`t know what is!
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
If you want to be remembered after you die, borrow money from everyone you know.
Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle.
You can tell a lot about a woman by how she slices brownies. For example: if she throws the knife at you, you should pick up some Midol.
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.