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My support group can outdrink your support group.
Growing up and becoming an adult was the worst decision I’ve ever made.
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
Marijuana is a type of flower, therefore I am a florist not a drug dealer :p
We get it poets: things are like other things
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my debit card goes through.
A month ago I gave my number to this beautiful girl. She said "I will text you when I get home". I think she`s homeless.
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line...
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
As you get older your Christmas list gets shorter, because the things you want can`t be bought.
It must suck when billionaires wake up feeling like a million bucks.
Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.