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I just made you think of an elephant
Gym Update: Not there.
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
I don`t know why beer companies bother with an expiration date. It`s never going to make it anywhere near that.
My workout plan really only consists of me wandering around in parking lots because I forgot where I parked...
Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering "You look fat in those pants".
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
I will die on a white floor just to mess with the chalk outline guy.
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
Hush little laptop don`t you cry,mumma gonna find you some more wifi.
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.
I hope that man who was walking in memphis found out the way he really felt
Dear Diary, the ugly woman at the bank cut in front of me today." Woman: "EXCUSE ME?!" [whispers]"Dear Diary, I think she can hear me."
Well, I`ve officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.