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I put mirrors on the ceiling because I like to see how I look when I`m eating pizza alone.
Jesus is coming.... look busy
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
The best thing about the internet is how quickly you can offend the maximum amount of people with minimum effort
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
I hate Cheetos stains on my peignoir.........
I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
I would like to be a Disney Princess...You know, where I have random animals showing up to help with the housework!
Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?
Girl scout cookies suck! I ate like 20 boxes of thin mints and I`m not any thinner.
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...
Dear Cashier, you should stop giving me attitude and acting like you`re job is so complicated and stressful....Self-Checkout has proven that pretty much Anyone can do your job.