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My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it`s there to stab potential taco thieves.
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
I`m not crazy, I`m just special!!...No, wait...Maybe I am crazy. One second...I have to talk to myself about this, hold on...
I`m no mathlete, but I CAN tell you that a 6 y/o running at 8 mph chasing an ice cream truck moving at 10 mph flies 7.4 ft if you trip him.
I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
Sign said “WET PAINT” So I emptied my water bottle on it. I’m currently waiting on further instructions.
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
people say nobody`s perfect..i made nobody!..
I hate when the remote is way over there
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
After watching "Breaking Bad" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I`d rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician.