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I always keep a google search for "how to find anyone, anywhere, and kill them" open on my phone in case anyone steals it.
I’m better at remembering people who have bad breath than important historical facts.
Another day, another chance to make someone say, "Oh, now that`s just WRONG"...
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
The Never Ending Story should`ve been a movie about a phone call from my Mother
I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.
Women have a lot more experience dealing with bloodstains than men. Men are convicted of murder a lot more than women. Coincidence?
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
at this point in life I break my life down into 2 time periods B.N and A.N....Before Netflix and After Netflix
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
I haven`t owned a watch for I don`t know how long.
God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me.
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.