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You know your fat when you sit in the bath tub and the water in the toilet rises.
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
I`d do anything to lose 20lbs. Well, except for eating healthy or working out.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
I give great marriage advice if you want to be divorced.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
I remember the days when I could refer to my knees as right and left. Now I refer to them as the good and bad knee.
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
Dear vegetarians, thanks for saving all the good food for us.
I paid My 11 year old $10 to do the dishes, then on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.
What did I get for Christmas? Fat...
It`s not stalking if you love them!
I just found a $100 bill laying on the floor in the checkout lane. I don`t even have to try to find out who lost it, because it`s the same color, and has the same picture on it as the one I lost 2 years ago!! WooHoo, talk about fate huh??!!